Portrait Gallery
The Quicksmiths professors hail from every corner of the globe. Each is gifted in teaching the secrets of Strange Energy – the extraordinary forces that swirl around us, still undiscovered by the outside world. But the professors couldn’t do their jobs were it not for the dedicated staff who keep Quicksmiths running smoothly. Bustling porters, chefs, and meticulous librarians highly knowledgeable in their duties also harness the powers of Strange Energy in their everyday work. And let’s not forget the legendary geniuses that still shine brightly in the memories of all who study, teach and live at Quicksmiths. Tales of their incredible inventions have resonated down through the centuries, and even today they continue to shape the world we live in.
Professor Steampunk
Head of Strange Invention
Expertise: Wormholes
Professor Steampunk has been called Professor Steampunk for so long, he’s forgotten his real name. He accidentally blew off his arms in a Very Important experiment and had to build himself some new ones.
Professor Steampunk is the proud rat-dad of four rescued lab rats named Gnashley, Gnawmon, Gnibbles and Ratfred.
Miss Twiss
Professor-In-Charge
Expertise: Everything
Adelaide Twiss is the Head of Quicksmiths College. A long-ago illness left her unable to speak using her mouth but that doesn’t stop her – the Thoughtwave Lens hidden beneath her enormous beehive means she can convey her thoughts directly into your mind (don’t worry, she can’t read your thoughts, although she still knows when you’re up to no good).
Professor Mo
Head of Quixology
Expertise: Thoughtwaves
Professor Mo (full Mori name: Motukōmuhumuhu Knekeneke) is an gold-medallist in thinking sideways. Give him a puzzle, a riddle or a brainteaser and he won’t stop until he’s got at least one answer. He discovered that quixar brain cells (which allow only a special few of us to see Strange Energy) are conveniently located near the puzzle-solving areas of the brain.
Professor Kvörk
First Year Skimmi Technician
Expertise: Slipstream
Professor Kvörk supervises the First Years as they build their own Skimmis. If you’ve never been to Quicksmiths, Skimmis are hoverboards which ride on invisible rivers flowing around the Earth and beyond to other worlds. She earned her tiger’s tail at Quicksmiths University (it’s not stolen from a real tiger).
Professor Koriolis
Visiting Scholar
Expertise: Myriadwaves
Professor Koriolis will be the first one to tell you that he is a very learned, highly respected individual in his area of expertise – the energy waves that the Universe creates when it is sleeping. He does not like wearing shoes indoors which is unfortunate as he has hilariously hairy toes.
Big Obi
Head Librarian
Big Obi has a big heart and an even bigger love of reading. He’s always categorising the library’s collection, which only ever keeps growing. Big Obi feels a personal failure if every student at Quicksmiths doesn’t read almost as much as he does, so he’s always making sure there are plenty of surprises in the Library – and that means not all the books are books! He’s been the winner of the Muscliest Librarian Award for four years running.
Bagsworth
Head Porter
Bagsworth is a very busy man. If he’s not sorting out the post through the wormhole cubbyholes, he’s organising the Oddjob Drones, or even dealing with an infestation of voles at the Botanical Gardens. Mr. Bagsworth seems grumpy but in fact he is simply a teddy bear with a grumpy exterior.
He owns the World’s Largest Moustache, usually festooned with assorted crumbs and/or aphids.
GENI
Strange Supercomputer
GENI stands for Giant Enigmatic Nebulous Intelligence and is pronounced like the word “genie”. GENI is everywhere at once, and can answer any question from any student at any time. She is always working tirelessly in the background, managing the WPS (Wormhole Positioning System), hosting the Candles and the Carousel that shrink the might of Strange Energies into useful apps, and keeping the Skycrackle Tower running safely as it harvests explosive plasma from the upper atmosphere.
Tamara Okpik
Head of Security
If you were thinking that Quicksmiths is a sanctity of peace and safety you’d be right. That’s because Tamara Okpik (pronouned “Ookpik”) is working with her team, security drones and GENI to maintain the perimeters and make sure no one gets into Quicksmiths who shouldn’t be there. She carries a small vial of eyedrops that contain Scrambleguard technology, which prevents the smuggling of high-tech secrets to anyone who might not have the world’s best interests at heart.
Chef Garibaldi
Buttery Manager
Quicksmiths boasts the best and largest kitchens of any of the schools of unusual learning (you may have heard of the Academy of Strange Elements, the Academy of Otherworld Sciences, or the Centre for the Study of Exoflora and Astrobiology).
The Buttery at Quicksmiths provides students and staff with nourishing meals and no one is ever turned away hungry at any time of the day or night. However, eating in the Buttery is something that requires a little getting used to … the tables are on the walls.
Eartha Quicksmith
Inventor
Four centuries ago, a baby was left in a basket at the gates of Quicksmiths. There was no note in the basket and so she was taken in by kind souls and named after the earth she was left on and the place of her discovery. She grew up at Quicksmiths, soaking up the learning and the wonders of Strange Energy. With many spectacular inventions already under her belt, she invented the Futurescope as a young woman – perhaps the best known secret of Quicksmiths.
For many years, no one has known where the Futurescope ended up.
Solomon Grittleshank
Inventor
Celebrated polymath Solomon Grittleshank was a scholar at Quicksmiths in Renaissance times along with Eartha Quicksmith. His inventions, while still wonderful in themselves, paled alongside her achievements. Years later, the Grittleshank name became a powerful symbol of technology and advancement in the form of the Grittleshank Collective.
Some might say that one should always take with one hand and give with the other. The Grittleshanks, however, are known for taking with both hands.
